Not-so-platonic (trash fic)
by Unlabelled
Summary: A series of vaguely connected oneshots based on a not-so-platonic relationship between Alistair and Carlisle. Basically Alistair forcing Carlisle into bed and Carlisle only half hating him for it. Not overly smutty because I'm useless at that, so mostly dialogue. Language warning. Trash fic alert. Feedback welcome. I recommend skipping the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**TRASH FIC ALERT (sorry not sorry)**

 **I don't know that this could actually be considered smut but. Here we are.**

 **In my world, this would be canon, but to the real world, it shit.**

 **All mistakes are mine, because I'm betaless at the moment.**

 **Alistair POV**

"Alistair…"

I glanced up at my little blond lover as I pulled my shirt over my head, smiling to try and ease his nerves. His eyes were wide and dark and his face was flushed; embarrassed or afraid, I wasn't sure. He was rather unwilling to undress in front of me, still sitting on the bed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, his fingers shoved under his thighs as nervously chewed his bottom lip. I leant forward, kissing the top of his head. "I'll go slowly, I promise."

He offered me an anxious smile that fell quickly, catching my hand and holding it when I tried to touch him.

Pressing my lips against his, I pushed him back against the mattress, making him emit a nervous squeak. He looked so worried as I undid his belt, pulling his shirt up, that I stopped, planting a kiss on his forehead as I knelt over him. "You have to take your clothes off, Carlisle," I chided, shaking my head at him. "It doesn't work like that."

He was holding onto my hands again, preventing me from going any further. "Go slowly…" he pleaded, his fingers white from squeezing mine so hard.

"I've already promised you that." This time when I leant in to kiss him, he opened my mouth to allow my tongue access but tensed when I touched his clothing again. "Come on," I urged, rubbing the tops of his arms. I was getting desperate now and it was becoming harder not to rush. The nervous looks Carlisle kept giving me were almost enough of a reminder to behave myself.

With shaking hands, he wriggled out of his jeans, finally letting me pull his shirt off. "Alistair…"

"Go slowly, I know, Carlisle. It's okay." I stayed with him for a while, trying to get him to focus on kissing me and not on my hands. Part of me wondered if we should have decided on a safe word beforehand, but now I had him I didn't want to scare him. "Tell me if you need a break," I told him instead, smiling despite wanting to scream.

He nodded slowly, his hands on my waist now. His fingers dug into my skin as I began preparation, sinking his teeth into his lip deep enough that it bled. "…This is sin…"

I couldn't help it, glancing up at him and unable to restrain a laugh. "We're going to hell anyway, aren't we?"

"But…what if we're not-" He cut himself off and was forced to start again, but I couldn't tell if the distraction was pain or pleasure. "What if we're not, but because o-of this t-then…Jesus, Alistair," he cursed. The mild profanity brought me closer to the edge, and now I was definitely rushing, trying to calm him at the same time.

"Think, Carlisle. Sex between a man and a woman has a specific purpose, yes?" I could barely concentrate, badly wanting to just get on with it.

"Yes…"

"But, being immortals, sex is only for pleasure, is it not? There is no biological gain from the act."

He nodded again, this time more timidly.

"Then why would God give a shit what we're doing now? We both get the same experience as if we were with women."

Carlisle didn't look convinced by my argument at all. In fact, he seemed even more discouraged. But he let it slide, reached up to kiss me again.

"Ready?" I asked urgently. My voice sounded strange and the second he hesitated felt like a life time.

"…Yes…" It was barely a whisper.

That was all the encouragement I needed, and my willpower faltered as I pushed into him, a little faster than we both anticipated, forcing an almost silent whimper out of him.

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath, his fingers starting to hurt where he was touching me. I was sure I wasn't supposed to have heard the curse, but it put me into some kind of frenzy. I was only vaguely aware that was hurting Carlisle, and that he was most likely frightened.

"You have to relax, Carlisle, or it's going to hurt," I warned, kissing the base of his neck.

He couldn't, of course, but he didn't complain.

I was done for, but at the same time as my release he whispered for me to stop. I kissed him gently, trying to get him to calm down a little, before carefully removing myself. As soon as I got off him he was getting dressed again, his cheeks pink. Assuming it would make him more comfortable, I pulled my pants back on too.

He sat on the edge of the mattress, his head in his hands. "I-I'm sorry, Alistair…"

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him back into my lap. "You did just fine," I promised, kissing his cheek. "I should be the one that's sorry. I didn't listen and I knew you were scared." Pressing my lips against his collarbone, I hugged him a little tighter. "Are you alright?"

He nodded, resting his head on my shoulder as our breathing started to regulate again. "Now you have to finish your end of the deal," he mumbled.

Crap. I'd almost forgotten. "Let's get this over with then," I grumbled, starting to stand up.

He held onto me, shaking his head. "Not right now."

"Why not?" Hunting a damn animal was not something I wanted to put off if I could just get it over and done with.

But Carlisle wasn't having it and shifted uncomfortably. "You know damn well why."

Laughing, I brought our lips together again. "I'm sorry. Later it is, then."


	2. Chapter 2

**This is set during Breaking Dawn when they were gathering witnesses. Carlisle tries to convince Alistair to stand with them, and the nomad gives him a bit of trouble.**

"What do you want then?" he asked with a sigh, folding his arms tightly and studying the ceiling. I could see he was nervous; fidgeting and holding his breath.

"You _know_ what I want." I couldn't help the smirk that slid across my face; part of me loved him, and another part of me loved tormenting him.

"…You can't be serious." He raised his chin defiantly, not happy with my suggestion.

"How much do you love that coven of yours, Carlisle?" I had him in a box and we both knew it. There wasn't any way I could deny him, just as there wasn't any way he could deny me. He opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again a second later. "It's for the good of your family," I reminded him, teasing.

"I'm not your whore, Alistair…" There was something unsure in his tone and he was avoiding looking at me.

"No, whores sell themselves. This is just a little trade between friends." I grabbed a fistful of his shirt, jerking him forward to kiss him.

He turned his face away so I couldn't. "I don't want to."

"And I don't want to risk my life for people I don't know," I pointed out.

"There's not going to be a fight-"

"Bullshit, and you know it." This time I forced him to let me kiss him, a little more rough as I help him still. There wasn't much he could do about it; I was quite a bit taller than he was, and could easily over-power him.

"And you're a pain in the ass," he shot back, not happy with me.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"It doesn't work like that, Alistair, I'm married."

I grabbed his hand, squeezing it when he tried to jerk back, and slid his wedding band off his finger. "And now you aren't," I grinned, tucking it into my back pocket.

Snatching his hand out of mine, he sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling. "Why do you always make me do this?"

Taking this as consent, I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him into me and kissing the base of his neck. "Come on, Carlisle, it's been what? Over a hundred years now, right?"

"I hadn't changed Edward then," he reminded me stubbornly, holding his hands behind his back and refusing to touch me. "And I didn't have Esme."

"Please, this is all to save the mind reader's child. If he's smart he'll keep his mouth shut."

"Not at all my point," he grumbled at me, sort of pleading. "Alistair, I don't want to." His hands were on my chest suddenly, and he tried to push away.

I tightened my arms around him, refusing to let him. "You came here to beg for my help, and when I offer you a deal, you say no?" I was playing with him, but I wasn't sure that he knew that; Carlisle wasn't stupid, but I knew how to get under his skin. "I thought you said you needed everyone you could get to stand with your coven, hmm?"

The room fell silent, and he didn't reply, ceasing his struggle against me. Just like that, I felt the tension drain from his body, replaced with defeat. I waited for him to fight me again, but he made no move to do so.

Pushing my luck, I slid my hand under his t-shirt, slowly tracing circles against the small of his back with my thumb. I found myself suddenly being stripped of my coat, but his fingers caught on the buttons of my shirt as his hands shook a little. I shoved him back against the wall, bringing our lips together and starting to tug his clothing off him. "You're prettier than I remember," I teased, running my hand down his side.

He rolled his eyes but didn't comment. Leaning back against the bricks, he studied the ceiling, trying to focus on anything that wasn't me touching him.

"I'm not going to be doing all the work here, Carlisle. This is your favour to me, remember?" I jerked him forward, refusing to let him back off again.

Unexpectedly, my pants were around my ankles and Carlisle's lips were against the inside of my thigh. I immediately knotted my fingers in his hair, guiding him through what I wanted him to do. I was semi-aware that I was pulling a little hard, and each time I did his fingers would dig into my skin to compensate for the discomfort.

Eventually, after another few minutes of teasing and the only words leaving my mouth being his name and a few curses, he batted my hand away. "Don't be an asshole. I know what I'm doing."

I couldn't help but laugh, but continued to do it anyway. If there was one thing I enjoyed more than sex, it was winding Carlisle Cullen up. And if I could do both at the same time, even better. He was right though; he knew damn well what he was doing; it felt amazing. I was also semi-aware that if I was to piss him off while he had my cock in his mouth, it wasn't going to be pleasant for either or us, so I made sure to keep my mouth shut and my hands to myself. "Carlisle," I groaned, pushing him back. "This isn't the deal, remember."

He wasn't listening to my commands, as usual, and his teasing touches were quickly pushing me towards an orgasm.

"Carlisle," I warned again, one hand on the wall to support myself.

"Alistair, we literally have two minutes. I don't have time for you to fuck me, nor do I want you to. Shut up," he grumbled at me.

"Jerk," I grumbled back, pulling his hair again to prove my point. Realising that this was all I was going to get, I gave into the pleasure of it. I tugged him out of the way as I came, knowing he wouldn't be happy with me at all if I messed up his clothing. Once he was on his feet again, I pulled him in to kiss him, running my hands down his body and pressing him up against the bricks when he tried to get away from me. "You said we had two minutes. That means we still have one left, seeming as you had me finished so quickly."

He started to kiss back after my statement, his lips working against mine and his fingers in my hair. I made sure to touch him everywhere he didn't want me to, absolutely unable to resist winding him up. He pulled away without any warning, pulling his now dishevelled clothing back into place. "Your minute is up. Let's go."

Rolling my eyes at him, I redressed and followed him outside. As I climbed in the passenger's seat, I took his hand, preventing him from changing gears; I figured I could torture him a little on the way there. He glared at me as I squeezed his fingers. "I just want to be close to you, Carlisle," I told him matter-of-factly. "I haven't seen you in such a long time."

Giving up, he squeezed my hand, almost affectionately. "Thank you for helping me."

I leant over to kiss his cheek. "I think I should be the one thanking you," I teased, chuckling to myself as his face flushed a little.

We drove in silence for a while, until his lack of conversation began to drive me up the wall; I didn't enjoy being around people very much, but at the same time having someone to talk to was nice. I put my hand on his leg, ignoring when he jumped and tracing the inside seam of his jeans with my finger. "You're upset," I accused.

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving the road. Still, he reached down to squeeze my hand.

"Liar. I've known you almost all of your life; you're not getting away with hiding anything from me, Cullen." I sighed when he still didn't say anything. "Is this about the girl? You're mad at me because I made you kiss me, and you're worried that it will hurt her?" Pulling his wedding band out of my pocket, I handed it back to him, surprised when he didn't immediately take it. When he did take it from me, it was very cautiously, trying not to touch me, and I knew my guess had been accurate.

"…I'm mad at myself because I let you make me do it…"

"It's for the good of your coven," I reminded him condescendingly.

Upon arriving at his house, I shuddered; there was far too many people here. "This looks a lot like an army, Carlisle," I hissed under my breath.

"You're only here to witness," he shot back, starting to lose his patience.

I grinned at the acute look of discomfort on his face as Esme came out to hug him, kissing his cheek. He leant down to whisper something to her, and she gave me a curious look, wanting to know what I had down to her husband, no doubt. I waved to her, raising my eyebrows at him; it was a shame I wouldn't get to see that conversation.

I followed them into the house, aware of the mix of surprise and disgust as people saw me. "Dammit, Carlisle," I hissed at him. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because you agreed to it," he argued, at his wits end with me now.

"It's not going to come to a fight, Alistair," Esme told me gently, visibly confused as to why Carlisle was so reactive towards me.

"So your husband has said," I mused. I stepped a little closer to him, letting my hand brush against his, catching his fingers and running my thumb over the back of his hand. It was hard not to laugh at his reaction; he snatched his hand back, quickly folding his arms. In my peripheral vision, I saw Garrett laugh, shaking his head at me when I looked over at him; he knew my full history with that boy, although I wasn't sure that Cullen was aware of that. Playing the events over and over in my head, I waited for the mind reader to react; surely he wouldn't be able to just sit there.

"Not a word," Carlisle murmured to him as they passed each other.

"Fine, but you owe me an explanation." Edward was halfway between confusion and snickering, but managed to let it go. Much to Carlisle's relief.

"I'm going to the attic. You know where to find me, my boy." I just resisted kissing him as I walked up the stairs; I didn't want to completely piss him off.

Two days later and I'd had enough. I did not want to sit around and listen to the coagulation of immortals down stairs degrading me. Once or twice, Garrett had come to prod me for details about whatever it was I had done to Carlisle; apparently I had shaken him up more than I had intended to, considering that he was already under pressure.

I grabbed his arm as he passed me. "I'm leaving."

"Alistair," he argued. "That's not fair."

"You didn't hold up your side of the deal," I pointed out.

"Please stay," he pleaded, holding my wrists.

"Not unless you come back up to that attic with me, and-"

"Forget it. Go home." He released me and stepped back, glancing away with a sigh.

"Good bye, Carlisle." I leant forward to kiss his cheek – much to his obvious discomfort – and then jumped from the nearest window. I had a feeling it was going to be long while until that boy sort my company again.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're going to hurt yourself, kid," I warned, leaning back and closing my eyes. Having my clothing ripped from my body wasn't entirely unpleasant, actually rather the opposite. Carlisle was quick with buttons, having my shirt off me and my pants undone within seconds.

"Never call me that again. Ever."

"No pet names, then?" I wrapped my legs around his waist, using his tie to jerk him forward to bring our lips together. He was cute in uniform, I'd have to give him that.

"Just not that one, Allie." He couldn't resist a smile, tangling his fingers in my hair and kissing me back forcefully as I undid his belt and untucked his shirt.

I had to laugh at the name, rolling my eyes and shaking my head at him. "It must have been a tough day at work then; you seem to have lost too many braincells to function." Gently tilting his head back with my thumb, I prepared to kiss him again. Instead, I found myself knocked backwards against the stone alter, Carlisle suddenly a whole lot closer to me than I had anticipated.

He kissed my throat, but the gesture was almost a bite. "You promised me that we weren't going to talk about work." He'd made that very clear when we'd met up; this was purely a distraction, and work stayed out of it.

"I'm just curious as to what it was that drove good, little, god-fearing Carlisle Cullen to fucking in a church."

Exasperated, he sat back to shake his head at me. "You don't want to know, Alistair."

I propped myself up on my elbows to look at him. "Are you finally addressing the fact that there is not a snowball's chance in hell you're entirely straight, and that it is going to cause a lengthy explanation for your coven, so you need one last good fuck just to make sure?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I grinned back, glad to have found a nerve to strike.

"Or, are you finally coming to your senses about your diet, hmm?"

"You're unbelievable."

"Childhood issues?"

"Does it not occur to you that maybe we shouldn't be having this conversation while we're both half-naked and rather worked up?" He was fighting a smile, but I got joy out of frustrating him.

I flipped us suddenly, pinning him down against the stone and gently biting his lip as he kissed me. In response, his fingers tangled in my hair, a little harder than I wished, really. As his hands worked their way down my body, I tried to grind against him, only to find that the fucker had me locked in place. "You want to keep me as frustrated in bed as you do in life, huh?" I grumbled.

He smiled innocently, releasing his hold on me. Suddenly his kisses were softer and his touches were a lot more gentle. There was something far too romantic about it.

"I didn't say I didn't like it," I grumbled at him, sighing and resting my head against his shoulder. While he was a little distracted, I wriggled his jeans down. Without any warning whatsoever, I slid the first finger into him. It had exactly the reaction I wanted; he wasn't sure what part of me to grab and was suddenly in somewhat of a panic.

"Jesus Christ, Alistair," he hissed at me, tightly gripping my shoulders.

"I know we're in a church, but now is not the time to start praying, Carlisle." I placed a gentle kiss on his lips, teasing him a little.

"Shut up," he grumbled at me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down on top of him. His motive for doing it became pretty clear as he started to kiss me again; I couldn't make any more smartass comments.

I knew he was more than ready for me to fuck him, but keeping him waiting was just as appealing. He wasn't quite as confident with a guy in bed as I was, and certainly wasn't as sure of himself as he would have been with his clothes on. I wasn't about to deny that it was fucking hot, either; his vulnerability did something for me that nothing else did. Perhaps that's why I liked him under me so much.

His hands were quite low on my hips, but he was a little too nervous to touch my ass yet. And it was worse than if he was. Unable to help it, I lowered myself onto him, groaning at the tiny bit of friction it created.

"Has it been a little while, Allie?" he teased me with an innocent smirk. My body shuddered as he ran his hands down, rubbing circles against my inner thigh with his thumb while his hands rested on the backs of my legs. The movement almost made me come then and there, and I involuntarily rolled my hips against him.

My legs were shaking and I was so hard it was painful. I was positively trembling as his hands worked themselves a little higher. Unable to stand it any longer, I balanced my weight on one hand so I didn't crush him, and slid the other into my boxers, stroking myself just to get some relief.

He batted my hand away though, and I whined without wanting to. "Stop that," he told me gently, leaning in for another kiss.

I could barely function enough to move my mouth, grinding down hard against him and hating the limited fabric left between us. "Carlisle…please…" I begged. "Just touch me…"

Thank fuck, he listened. He teased me through my underwear, his fingers lightly grazing my cock and tracing the sensitive skin on my inner thighs. I sunk my teeth into my lip so deeply I drew blood, resting my forehead against his shoulder; it was more than enough to drive me insane. He kissed my neck, one arm around my waist and holding me against him.

"I missed this," I mumbled without wanting to, out of breath already.

"I missed you," he answered, just as quietly. I bit back a smart-ass comment about Esme, knowing he'd draw the line, and just nodded instead. I missed him too, though I would never admit it.

I lifted my head, bringing our lips together. He was distracted now though, only nodding when I asked if he was ready. Expecting second thoughts, I just got on with it; I was that close now that I wasn't going to let his nerves get the better of him before I was finished.

Nerves didn't seem to be the issue though; he was relaxed enough. Just distracted. His response to my kisses were half-ass and a little slow. After a while it began to do my head in; it wasn't so much fun when he was uncooperative. I ended up doing all the work, and he was basically a puppet, just doing as he was told.

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Partly as a joke, and partly in hopes that it might give him enough of a fright to pay attention again, I loosely wrapped my fingers around his throat. It had the desired affect; his hands flew up to cover mine, making sure I couldn't squeeze.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he leant up to kiss me.

Running his thumb repetitively across my fingers, he glanced up at me. "If we're going to do that, we need a safe word…"

"You're serious?" I did a double take; maybe he really had gone insane. I couldn't imagine Carlisle taking very well to being choked; he was so against violence.

"I trust you."

Stupidly, those three words sent shivers down my spine, and I groaned, bringing our lips together again. "You tell me to stop immediately if it gets too much," I murmured to him, kissing the side of his face.

He nodded, taking his hands off mine and holding my waist instead.

I tightened my hands, just a little, and grinned as I felt him swallow. My stomach was tight with anticipation; this was something we'd never tried before and I was already sure that I could get off on it if he could stand it long enough. "Still okay?"

"Yeah…"

"Just say stop," I reminded him, kissing him gently to try and ease his nerves a little. I kept it at that for a while, forcing myself to be slower and softer, assuming he wouldn't be able to tolerate it much longer and we would go back to normal. I didn't want to, though.

He pulled out of the kiss suddenly, and I immediately thought he'd had enough. "You can squeeze harder, you know. You're not going to break me; I don't actually need to breathe."

Letting go, I ran one hand through his hair, brushing it off his face. "Are you sure?" I checked again, confused as to what the fuck was wrong with this kid tonight; this wasn't Carlisle at all. Never had he truly wanted to fuck me, nor had he wanted my kisses or my hands on him. Tonight, apparently, he wanted all three. And I sure as hell wasn't protesting.

Rolling his eyes at me, he grabbed me roughly and pulled me down to kiss me. "Choke me, Alistair."

That was it for me; I was done for. I wrapped my hands around his throat again, slowly increasing the force I was using until I knew he couldn't draw in a breath if he tried, all the while trying to keep enough wits about me to keep us at a steady rhythm.

His fingers were digging into my thighs, and he barely had enough sense to kiss back, let alone move against me. I knew I was close but I didn't have a clue what the fuck he was doing, until he buried his face in my shoulder and mumbled my exact thought. This was new and different, and I got the sense we were both trying to make it last as long as possible.

I wasn't aware of anything other than the most powerful release I'd had since god knows when, and Carlisle's quiet laugh as I groaned his name.

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Watching Carlisle get dressed again, I decided I might as well push my luck a little. Any chance to keep him in his underwear a little longer, really. "Stop."

He spun around to look at me, startled. "What?"

"Stop."

Amazingly, he froze, leaning back against one of the pews. "…Why?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing him and pulling him into me. "You're not ready for round two, then?"

He rolled his eyes at me and gently brought our lips together, running his fingers through my hair to get it off my face, but didn't answer.

Brushing my thumb over the redness against his throat, I couldn't convince myself that I was happy with the way our time together was going; as much as I enjoyed Carlisle touching me, I wasn't sure that I was okay with him touching me like _that_. There was far too much affection behind tonight. His kisses were too sweet, and the sex was too personal. I grabbed his fingers, squeezing them hard enough for it to be uncomfortable. "What's wrong with you tonight?"

It didn't deter him in the slightest, and he fitted himself nicely against my side, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist. Years ago, I would have killed for this, but now I needed him to get his head in the right space; whatever was happening here _couldn't_ happen while he was married, and I didn't want a relationship. "What'd you mean?"

"This. Cuddling. Whatever you want to call it. It's weird," I clarified, expecting him to withdraw.

He didn't seem to care. "You always used to want this." He kissed my throat, his teeth meeting my skin. "You used to beg me to stay with you afterwards, so that we could be together a little longer."

"'Beg' is a strong term," I grumbled at him, denying the truth. I trailed my fingers down his side, tracing his ribs. Now we were slower, his proximity was more comforting than it was distracting; no one else ever wanted to be close to me like this.

"Can I put my clothes back on now?" he asked after a while. It had me chuckling that he'd felt the need to ask me, but I nodded anyway. My heart sank a little upon realising that my time with him was over now; we'd fuck, and then go our separate ways. That's how we worked.

I folded one arm over my face to hide my expression and block my view of him leaving. I hated the way I felt about him; it wasn't the vicious attraction that someone had with their mate but I still loved him, despite my incessant need to taunt him. My cruelty never fully deterred him, so I assumed he must feel the same.

His behaviour tonight had inflamed that feeling though; _never_ had we had anything remotely affectionate between us, but he'd thrown that out the window. Once the urgency between us was gone, I missed it. I missed _him._

Suddenly, I felt the warmth of his arm around my waist as he leant over me. "Hey, Allie?"

"Hmm?" I propped myself up on one arm to kiss him, holding his face with my free hand.

He leant into my touch, smiling shyly. "Come for a walk?"

I nodded, knowing this was going to be either the beginning of something new or end of what we already had.


End file.
